| Attention parents: It's back-to-school
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| | flyers. See what they can come up with.
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| shopping time. This year, do your kids a
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| | When kids are involved in all stages of a
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| favor by NOT buying them everything they
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| | decision-making process, they are more
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| claim they need. Of course, you will
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| | cooperative.3. For younger children who
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| probably purchase some clothes, shoes,
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| | demand a cartoon logo on every article of
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| and school supplies.But when it comes to
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| | clothing, tell them how many such items
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| expensive name brands, sports logos,
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| | you will allow, and let them pick the
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| celebrity-licensed items and electronic
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| | specific items. For example, if you allow
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| equipment, it's better to set limits --
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| | two, they might pick a sweatshirt and a
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| not only for the sake of your wallet, but
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| | backpack, or a jacket and a notebook. You
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| also because it is psychologically
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| | can also set a dollar limit on items with
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| healthier for your children. Here's why:-
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| | licensed characters. Allowing some degree
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| Kids who get everything they want develop
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| | of choice helps younger children feel a
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| expectations that this will always be the
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| | sense of mastery and control.4. When you
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| case. This leaves them ill prepared to
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| | go on the shopping trip, don't rush
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| deal with the world later, as adults.-
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| | through it. Allow time for lunch or
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| Kids who get everything they want develop
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| | videogame breaks. In this way, the
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| a sense of entitlement, with the
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| | shopping trip becomes a shared family
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| assumption that things should come easily
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| | experience, not just a mad rush to
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| and on demand. Not only is this
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| | acquire things.5. Set limits not just on
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| unrealistic, but such a sense of
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| | the dollar amount you'll be spending, but
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| entitlement fosters a very self-centered
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| | also on what is acceptable. Your teenager
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| view of life, which can lead to
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| | may insist on certain clothing styles
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| relationship problems as adults.- Kids
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| | that you don't approve of. If she starts
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| who don't have to work for things are
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| | arguing with you at the store, calmly
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| deprived of the opportunity to develop
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| | tell her it's time to go home. If she
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| self-esteem. Self-esteem doesn't come
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| | continues arguing in the car, don't try
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| from the brand of sneakers they wear. Nor
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| | to reason with her; she's too angry to
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| does it come from merely being told that
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| | listen to logic at that time. However,
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| they're a good person. It comes from a
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| | you can offer to take her shopping on
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| sense of competence, which develops
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| | another day when she has settled down.6.
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| through sustained effort toward a goal
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| | If your child insists that he absolutely
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| (e.g., saving up for those special
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| | needs something that is not in your
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| sneakers.)- Research shows that kids who
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| | budget, make a deal with him to allow him
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| don't learn to postpone gratification may
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| | to earn money toward it by doing extra
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| not develop the "emotional intelligence"
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| | chores. However, don't buy the item until
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| that is important for long-term success
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| | he has earned the money. This is very
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| in life. Emotional intelligence includes
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| | important, because it helps your child
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| skills such as self-control, confidence,
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| | learn to plan and to work toward a goal.
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| empathy and communication.So, to help
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| | He will also appreciate more an item that
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| both your wallet and your kids, here are
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| | he had to work for.7. If you're like many
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| some tips for setting limits on
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| | parents, you try to set limits or to say
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| back-to-school expenditures:1. Decide in
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| | "No", but the kids whine and complain so
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| advance how much you plan to spend.
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| | much that you eventually give in. Try
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| Divide your list into two categories:
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| | your best not to succumb. If you give in,
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| Necessities and Want-to-haves.
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| | you are inadvertently teaching your
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| Concentrate on the former.2. If your
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| | children that if they whine long enough,
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| children are of middle-school age or
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| | they will eventually get their
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| older, involve them in the planning. Give
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| | way.Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.
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| them a budget and show them the sale
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