| I have a son who developed autism just after his first | | | | know from experience that once you start it can take |
| birthday and I wouldn't describe my life since as being | | | | a long time to stop. |
| easy. However, today I was reminded just how lucky I | | | | Hearing that story made me once more appreciate |
| am. Through various non invasive interventions, endless | | | | just how lucky I am. |
| patience and persistence, my son has developed into | | | | One thing which would have made a considerable |
| a nice young man who I can now take most places | | | | difference to the lady in question would have been a |
| without wishing the ground would open up and | | | | companion to help her - a friend - another pair of |
| swallow me. | | | | hands. Over the years I have come to know one thing |
| My son is eighteen, physically very capable with a | | | | with certainty and that is the people who require the |
| great sense of balance and hand/eye co-ordination. | | | | help the most are the ones least likely to ask for it. |
| He's now easy to look after and despite using limited | | | | I'd like you to bear that in mind the next time you think |
| language to communicate, he tries very hard in other | | | | about your friend, relation or neighbour and imagine |
| ways to let people know what he wants and needs. | | | | walking a day in their shoes.Sometimes, even the |
| Another boy I know also tries very hard to | | | | smallest, simplest thing can mean so much and the |
| communicate. However, he's not quite so physically | | | | difference between being able to cope or not.Think |
| able, in fact he's in a wheelchair. Now eight, he's | | | | about the person who is housebound and has no |
| become a very frustrated little individual who likes to | | | | visitors. How about the elderly couple who have |
| assert himself whenever possible. Unfortunately it is | | | | difficulty getting the newspaper which you collect for |
| making it increasingly difficult for his mother to look | | | | yourself every day? What about the young mother |
| after him and take him out alone. Not only is he getting | | | | who is desperate for sleep but can't leave her baby? |
| bigger and heavier, but where once he was happy to | | | | I am fortunate in that I have a Circle of Friends for my |
| be pushed along wherever his mother chose, he now | | | | son. They are people who have his best interests at |
| grabs on to anything he can get his hands on to | | | | heart and do fun things with him. It gives him the |
| prevent the wheelchair moving, especially if it means | | | | opportunity to enjoy a variety of activities, and gives |
| leaving somewhere he enjoys. | | | | me a break from having to be completely responsible |
| Railings, gates, lamp posts are all becoming hazardous | | | | all the time. All are volunteers and help because they |
| and he's now mastered the art of the wheel chair | | | | want to. They derive as much pleasure from the |
| equivalent of an emergency stop by putting on the | | | | association as my son does and we all benefit from |
| brake when the chair is in motion. | | | | the relationship. |
| The last time he did it his mother had taken him to a | | | | My Circle also enables me to give quality time to other |
| play park and he'd been reluctant to leave. Needless to | | | | family members. Often disabilities split families in two |
| say he'd entwined his little fingers around every thing | | | | and I know of several couples who always do |
| he could manage on the route back to the car. His | | | | different activities so their "normal" children don't lose |
| mother anticipated further problems once they | | | | out. Some even take separate holidays. |
| reached the vehicle so as soon as they got in range | | | | Being a parent is never an easy task but when you |
| she got her keys out to open the car by remote | | | | have a child with a disability the family unit is frequently |
| control. | | | | under strain. Many couples can't take it and there are |
| The plan was to make the transition from chair to car | | | | more than a few mothers (and fathers) left to cope |
| as quick as possible but her son had other ideas. He | | | | alone. I know we all live in a busy world but most of us |
| pulled on the brake, the chair tipped up and in her haste | | | | could, if we wanted, spare a few hours a month to |
| to keep it upright she dropped the keys down the | | | | help someone in need. |
| drain. The mother just sat down on the kerb and | | | | Believe me, it can make a huge difference. |
| laughed. She had to, if not she would have cried and I | | | | |