| Autism and the pressure to conform | | | | As children, the Autistic individual may not be able to |
| When you peruse the many forums and/or websites | | | | manage (perhaps verbalize or convey) the effect on |
| run and utilized by persons on the Autism Spectrum, a | | | | them of sensing the sometimes stressful expectations |
| familiar theme in many threads and posts is the | | | | of another to ‘conform' (or not understand them) |
| pressure and stresses many Autistic persons feel and | | | | and may explode with rage, emotional or behavioural |
| endure many a time for the need to conform to and | | | | outbursts or experience a complete shutdown |
| comply with the (Neuro typical or NT) expectations of | | | | (overload), retreating into the sanctity of a cocoon of |
| the general community. | | | | silence, a favourite place, to an unseen corner and/or |
| In order to feel accepted and assimilate into such a | | | | disappear, escape such pressures. |
| community, Autistic persons can feel the exhaustive | | | | With maturity (as they grow) they may have learnt |
| pressure of trying to maintain a persona which can | | | | that in order to be ‘accepted', they must develop or |
| feel unnatural to them. This persona may, for some, | | | | maintain a persona (a cover for the real self) which |
| convey the appearance of varying degrees of | | | | aims to ‘please' the observer (e.g. teacher, parent, |
| confidence and social ease; a willingness to be part of | | | | helper, other kids, non ASD persons etc.), in order to |
| the ‘crowd' (be like everyone else); an acceptance | | | | try to ‘blend in'. This persona can have the |
| or knowingness of the need to conform to be | | | | ‘observer' believe that ‘normalization' has been |
| ‘normal' (‘should be') and so on. But ‘bubbling' | | | | achieved (‘success') and was justified. But to the |
| about within their soul is the stress associated with | | | | keen, intuitive, empathetic and understanding eye, one |
| ‘keeping up appearances' for those whom they | | | | who understands Autism, it can be very obvious that a |
| feel don't accept their individuality, different way of | | | | persona (not the authentic Autistic person) is being |
| being and unique, innate and natural ways. Once in the | | | | displayed. Assuming this persona has the effect of |
| privacy of a domain that is sacred and comforting for | | | | masking the natural, innate and unique being, which has |
| them (e.g. at home), they can let this ‘guard' down, | | | | been described to me by one Autistic adult as a |
| with what can be described as a flooding/release of all | | | | torturous experience. Perhaps this persona can be |
| that pent up (bursting at the seams sometimes) stress | | | | related to the Exposure Anxiety an Autistic person |
| and be ones self again – expressing the true self | | | | may experience, when behaving in such a way, albeit |
| without the judgment of ‘another'. Additionally, the | | | | unnatural to them, can be a way to protect ones-self |
| Autistic individual can be left with perpetual anxieties, of | | | | from a perceived or real ‘threat' in the environment |
| varying intensities, which can be difficult to eliminate by | | | | (people, expectations, other…). |
| ones-self and can even keep compounding until | | | | Through the teen years and into adulthood many |
| symptoms of depression can present obtrusively. | | | | persons on the Spectrum have great difficulty pealing |
| Part of the pressure imparted onto Autistic individuals | | | | away the layers of this persona (which is unnatural for |
| begins when many are very young. When the adults | | | | them) and letting, with confidence and pride, their real |
| (loving and otherwise) begin many therapies to | | | | and authentic selves shine. What tends to maintain |
| ‘remedy' or remove the innate Autistic ‘fabric' | | | | these layers tightly wrapped around them, is the lack |
| of the one diagnosed as being on the Spectrum. The | | | | of acceptance by others of their (ASD) beingness and |
| pressure is maintained when the expectation to | | | | their (ASD individuals) unwillingness to expose the real |
| conform, ‘normalize', ‘reform‘ or remove | | | | self underneath for fear of non-acceptance. |
| ‘undesirable' behaviours throughout their childhood | | | | Autism is ultimately just part of natures design and |
| and teen years (and possibly the adult years) persists. | | | | piece of the diversity puzzle which is inherent |
| Of course there are some elements related to Autism | | | | (naturally) within the human species. Embracing |
| which, for the wellbeing of the Autistic person and | | | | diversity and allowing another to express and expose |
| sometimes the family, may present in a manner which | | | | their authentic self with confidence and pride will |
| can be detrimental to one's safety or overall wellbeing. | | | | complete the ‘puzzle' often associated with Autism |
| Some of these elements could be co-morbid | | | | and assist many on the Spectrum to live with |
| conditions, such as depression, violent behaviours etc.. | | | | emotional (psychological and physical) freedom. |
| These elements, in regards to their severity, must be | | | | |
| managed with the utmost respect for the Autistic | | | | By Louise Page M.A.I.P.C., Q.M.A.C. |
| individual and their dignity, to promote quality of life. | | | | |