| Unknown to the general public as well as the mass | | | | deceased while reducing the perception of isolation so |
| media, millions of people mourning the death of a loved | | | | often felt. |
| one have an experience in which they are convinced | | | | Having studied the phenomena for over 25 years, I |
| they have received a sign or a message from the | | | | have chronicled fifteen different types of contacts and |
| deceased or a divine being. However, mourners are | | | | labeled them Extraordinary Experiences (EEs). Other |
| often reluctant to widely discuss the event out of fear | | | | researchers have called them after-death |
| they will be labeled negatively and lose valuable | | | | communications, while those who receive them often |
| support in their journey to reinvest in life. These | | | | say they are spiritual experiences. They range from |
| encounters have nothing to do with a psychic; they are | | | | sensing the presence or hearing the voice of the loved |
| not invoked, but occur spontaneously. | | | | one to smelling a particular scent or having an |
| The word spontaneously is a key understanding. As | | | | incredible dream in which the loved one says he or she |
| many who have had the experience testify, they were | | | | is okay. Sometimes a third person is involved, often a |
| not thinking about the loved one, yet the experience | | | | child, who is given the experience and then passes it |
| came seemingly out of nowhere--and from an outside | | | | on to the primary mourner. Unusual natural signs of |
| source. It was not something manufactured by the | | | | rainbows or the behavior of butterflies, pets, or wildlife |
| unconscious mind or a product of coincidence. | | | | as well as the unexpected movement of pictures or |
| Of critical importance is the fact that the experience | | | | objects associated with the deceased have also |
| brings solace and comfort and often opens up a | | | | proved meaningful. |
| whole new level of awareness reconnecting the | | | | These communications can be used in a variety of |
| mourner to their spiritual roots and a new relationship | | | | ways in coping with loss. For example, memories are |
| with the deceased. | | | | important grieving tools and EEs provide a rich |
| Regrettably, some family members, counselors | | | | network of images for positive recall. They can also |
| (including psychiatrists), and friends of the mourner | | | | be used as a symbol to motivate the mourner to |
| often dismiss the experience as an artifact of grief, the | | | | adapt to the changes imposed by loss or as reminder |
| product of a mind that cannot accept the death of the | | | | to work on new skills or routines needed in their life |
| loved one. Historically, the scientific community has | | | | without the beloved. |
| commonly dismissed the contact as an illusion or | | | | If you have had an Extraordinary Experience, or if you |
| hallucination. Nothing could be further from the truth. | | | | are helping someone cope with the loss of a loved |
| In general, people who report the experience are as | | | | one, make every effort to become aware of the |
| sound and sane as anyone could be. They know they | | | | nature of these mysterious gifts, the wide variety of |
| have been given a gift of love and caring to assist in | | | | meanings they hold, and the resource they can |
| coping with transition. Dealing with the massive | | | | become for everyone. Love truly lives on and the |
| changes associated with the critical task of accepting | | | | death of a loved one never means the relationship |
| death is a challenge all must face. Thus, the | | | | dies. Our deceased loved ones will always be part of |
| experience becomes a significant resource in | | | | our lives. |
| establishing a healthy continuing bond with the | | | | |