| seriously considering homeschooling your child, at least | | | | only appreciate his genius) is the most afraid that you'll |
| for a little while. You've figured out the legalities and | | | | really discover that he is too stupid to learn. A reading |
| your priorities. You've even got a good idea of what | | | | notebook is one way to do provide daily evidence of |
| you're going to teach, maybe even how you're going | | | | progress. Keeping a good portfolio of projects and |
| to teach it. You didn't start out with this in mind, but you | | | | assignments is another. |
| can't help but think, at least hope, you can do a better | | | | Never underestimate the need for them to consciously |
| job than the schools. | | | | make the connection between their work and |
| Now for the scary part. How can you deal with your | | | | intelligence with their successes. |
| child's "special needs?" And how are you going to | | | | There's a concept in education called in the jargon the |
| succeed where others haven't? | | | | "locus of control." If it's "external," you think that life |
| Make your child your partner in this. Age and | | | | happens to you and you don't have a lot to say about |
| personality will have much to do with exactly how you | | | | it. If it's "internal," then you think that you can have an |
| manage this, but respect your child's input while still | | | | impact on your own life.Consider that for many |
| keeping in charge. The two of you are going to take | | | | students, there hasn't been a good connection |
| control of this situation together. | | | | between trying hard and success. This is especially |
| Start with your bottom line priorities. Some possibilities: | | | | true of gifted students with learning disabilities. Things |
| To get the skills to be able to go back to school next | | | | that they put very little effort into may be praised and |
| year and succeed. | | | | lauded; but that spelling test they studied for an hour |
| To stop the destructive forces you can see damaging | | | | for? "Needs improvement." What's easy for others is |
| your child's academic opportunities and/or wreaking | | | | hard for them and vice versa. |
| havoc on his/her emotions and self-esteem. | | | | Giving back the feeling that what *you* do is the most |
| A whole book could be written about this, it can be as | | | | important factor in what you learn is a first step to |
| simple or complicated as you want it to be. The | | | | getting to where what you think of the results is more |
| important thing is to figure out some priorities. | | | | important than what others think. |
| This is because one of your main goals will probably | | | | Don't forget your own transition. Stay away from "I |
| have to be to: | | | | *don't* want." You want to build towards, not run |
| Design the schooling so that your child can begin to | | | | from.If you're leaving the school system in frustration, |
| unlearn that s/he's a failure as a student. You don't | | | | consider this: rebellions and revolutions have life cycles. |
| want your child thinking that you've removed him/her | | | | You can guide your rebellion from the school system |
| from school because s/he just can't make it at school. | | | | down paths that are more likely to lead to success, |
| Then expectations of self will be even lower than they | | | | especially if you're aware of pitfalls. |
| have been, and that's probably pretty low. | | | | Letting your anger be your main motivation will mean |
| Often, though they have not told anyone, students | | | | that you are more concerned with "showing" the |
| may have deep fears that they are damaged goods, | | | | school system something, and with NOT doing what |
| and that you just don't understand that.(You're the | | | | they did. That might be exactly the right thing for your |
| parent after all, you always say nice things. That's your | | | | child -- or not. Why do you need to impress the school |
| job.) They may even be afraid that if you become | | | | system, anyway? You're not truly free from its hold if |
| their teacher, you'll find out just how stupid they are | | | | you're still waiting for a bigger superintendent to come |
| and won't love them anymore. That's not common, | | | | along and set things right. |
| fortunately. | | | | And, eventually, that anger subsides, and then where |
| Because of this, simply "deschooling" as many | | | | are you? Unfortunately it may leave you looking for |
| homeschoolers do may send exactly the wrong | | | | something else to get angry about (without necessarily |
| message to your child. If you make no academic | | | | being aware of it.) Consciously guide your planning |
| demands for a time, your child may perceive that it's | | | | towards the goals and priorities you have set. Use the |
| because you have no academic expectations. You | | | | energy from your anger, but shape it into something |
| need to "deschool," but it needs to be more than just | | | | positive. It's an infinitely more effective statement of |
| an "absence of school." | | | | your success. |
| Many students with learning disabilities or attention | | | | Look for support and use it. For example, if you're |
| problems need more structure. Some lose skills quickly | | | | ADD, you may need help building a structure -- and |
| when they aren't practicing them. It pays to understand | | | | sticking to it. Don't be afraid to acknowledge this (and |
| your child and realize that what works wonderfully for | | | | realize there are teachers out there being paid for the |
| another child simply isn't appropriate for yours. You | | | | job who are just as disorganized as you are and they |
| want to provide the positives of the structure that your | | | | don't quit). Consider bringing in outside help, especially if |
| child needs, without all the negative experiences that | | | | working with your child is going to bring up ghosts of |
| may be associated with it. | | | | your own. Sympathy can be a good thing if you share |
| Prove to your child that s/he can learn. Then prove it | | | | learning problems with your child, but it can also keep |
| again. It may take lots of evidence and time. What | | | | you from being able to successfully teach in a problem |
| might be obvious to you as good progress and good | | | | area. Sometimes having had to learn "the hard way" |
| work isn't at all obvious to kids. They will assume they | | | | gives you an advantage, but not if you insist that your |
| are eons behind "regular" students regardless of the | | | | child learn *your* hard way when that may not be |
| validity of that belief. I've also had students who didn't | | | | appropriate. |
| realize that things that were easy for them were | | | | Don't expect perfection. You will make mistakes. |
| actually difficult for others. They were convinced that | | | | When you are drowning in self-doubt, hunt down |
| that high IQ score was a fluke. Many of these children | | | | support and perspective. If need be, focus harder on |
| have it deeply ingrained that anything they can do, | | | | the things that are working -- and don't be afraid to talk |
| anybody else could have done better. Sometimes | | | | it over with your child. It could be that modeling how |
| (though not always!) the child who proclaims that he is | | | | you handle mistakes and grow from them and learn |
| so smart he doesn't need any of this (if you would | | | | from them is the most important lesson learned. |