| "What animal walks on four feet in the morning, two | | | | develop our capacity to deal with change and |
| feet at noon, and three feet in the evening, yet has | | | | transition, so that we are not experiencing a crisis. |
| only one voice?" ~The Riddle of the Sphinx | | | | William Bridges is probably the most well known expert |
| Up until the last few years, the common wisdom or | | | | on transition. He distinguishes change and transition: |
| cultural conversation on aging was that there was this | | | | Change: An event which occurs when something in |
| thing called the midlife crisis. It was supposed to be | | | | our life ends or is replaced by another event or way |
| especially common to men as they entered their | | | | of doing something. Change is external or situational, |
| middle years, between forty to sixty years of age | | | | like job loss or a divorce. It is episodic and happens to |
| (middle age keeps getting pushed to a higher age | | | | you. |
| group as we live longer). Images of a man leaving his | | | | Transition: A gradual psychological re-orientation people |
| wife, quitting his job, buying a toupee and a red | | | | experience as they try to adapt to change. It is internal, |
| convertible sports car were portrayed in the media. | | | | happening inside you. |
| So, does the notion of midlife crisis really exist? | | | | My Experience of Dealing with Change and Transition |
| The Nature of Reality and Existence (simple version) | | | | I went through some "major" midlife transitions - five |
| Reality, up to a point can be defined as what people | | | | career transitions, after ten years of practicing |
| agree to. In 1491, the reality was that if you sailed far | | | | dentistry. I've felt fear and anxiety, especially in what |
| enough, you would fall off the earth. That was the | | | | Bridges refers to as the "neutral zone." This is the |
| prevailing conversation. People agreed that the world | | | | place between "ending" old patterns and ways of |
| was flat. | | | | being and a "new beginning" - a place where we can |
| Another example is the stock market. The current | | | | recreate ourselves and create a new future for |
| cultural conversation is that we are in a recession. It is | | | | ourselves. I call the in-between place, the gap. |
| based on agreement. If enough people agree to | | | | In the gap, It was not okay for me that I could not label |
| something it becomes real and may not be true. The | | | | myself by the type of work I did or that I was not |
| same applies to scientific discoveries. | | | | engaged in some form of work. I lost my sense of |
| The key point here is that there has been agreement | | | | identity - who I considered myself to be. In my five |
| that a midlife crisis is common to men and women in | | | | career transitions, I felt driven to find something to "do"- |
| this age group. | | | | something I could wrap my arms around. My |
| Not a Crisis but a Transition | | | | experience was like being in front of a "blank canvass" |
| My business partner, Frank and I, have reviewed some | | | | like an artist - "What will I create?" |
| of the literature on midlife crisis and the more we read, | | | | Through an ongoing practice of personal development, |
| the more certain we are that a crisis is something that | | | | I have come to realize that what I was afraid of was |
| can happen at any age. | | | | confronting "nothing"; it is from "nothing" that I could |
| Webster's defines midlife crisis as "a period of | | | | create something new. Creation does not happen with |
| emotional turmoil in middle age characterized by a | | | | something already there or anything incomplete from |
| strong desire for change." Thus we have the terms | | | | the past. |
| male midlife crisis and female midlife crisis. Do they | | | | Going through a midlife change does not need to be a |
| really exist? There is a tendency in the serious | | | | crisis. It is an opportunity for us to create our lives |
| literature - as opposed to the media - to move away | | | | newly. The middle years and beyond can be the best |
| from the use of this term. | | | | period of our life. |
| Some middle age men and women may experience a | | | | Suggested Practices for Dealing with Transition |
| crisis. It does not mean that a crisis is a phenomenon | | | | |
| unique to this age group nor does it apply to the | | | | 1. Take on a meditation practice or a body-oriented |
| majority. A more appropriate word to use in this | | | | practice like yoga that will allow you to more readily |
| context is transition. | | | | embrace change and transition. |
| Change and Transition | | | | 2. Use a support structure like coaching or being part |
| Midlife transition is a more accurate term to use than | | | | of a community of like-minded people dealing with |
| midlife crisis. Both include change. Transition is | | | | similar issues to your own. |
| empowering; crisis is disempowering. Change is a | | | | 3. Complete a program like the Hudson Institute's |
| constant in life - it doesn't need to be a crisis. We can | | | | programs that specialize in transition issues. |