Parenting a Special Needs Child - I Didn't Sign Up For This!

Chances are, when you decided to sign up for a child,gets. They may be embarrassed to seen with their
you did not put in a special order for a child with adisabled siblings or worried that they may end up with
disability. Children always bring many surprises into athe illness or disability as well.
parents life, but a special needs child, bring more thanOn the other hand, having a sibling with a disability can
their fair share of growth opportunities and challenges,also teach a non disabled child empathy, pride and
to their parents.compassion, many positive traits very lacking in today's
The first set of challenges, we look forward to is,society. It is very important to give the siblings a lot of
dealing with the medical professionals. Finding ainformation on the disability, and answers any questions
diagnosis, getting a second opinion, seeing what can bethey have, as honestly as possible. Let them
done about the disability or the illness. So manyunderstand that they don't have to be a "super Kid" to
questions and a very scary time. Then begins themake up for what their brother or sister cannot do...
research and learning all we can about the disability orTime alone with each child is very important, and listen
the illness...the learning curve starts!to their concerns. This can go a long way in creating a
Way too soon after the medical round-a-bout, and thefamily where the disability is one small part of the
therapy flurry, you have worry about the next issue,whole picture.
educating your child. This is where other parents ofSo, you didn't sign up for this, but got given it in any
special needs children and your support team are socase...take all the little pieces that make up your life,
important, to help navigate school life, homework,look at each of them, and make them work for you,
therapies and Lift clubs.and you will realise that getting more than you asked
But your education does not stop here...once you havefor, is not a punishment, but a blessing in disguise!
mastered the medical, educational and day-todaySO WHAT A PARENT TO DO?
crises of raising a child with a disability, you now needSo where to from here...
to add the emotional side of things as well. You are- The disability has become your new hobby; learn all
not the only one grieving for the lost potential of youryou can about about it from when your child is little to
child, or worrying about their future, there are theadulthood.
siblings and your partner to consider as well. Everyone- Realise that your family is no longer like "normal"
grieves and worries differently, and especially whenfamilies. Quick trips to the shops, last minute long
your child has a progressive disorder, this is a processweekend's etc .are all a thing of the past. But look on
that will keep repeating itself. having a child with athe bright side, your organisational and planning skills, as
disability puts a lot of stress on a marriage, so don't bewell as your advocating skills will grow in leaps and
scared to go for counselling, if things get to tough.bounds.
There are many therapists who can help you reach- Take time for yourself and your partner away from
an emotional balance within your family, to help youthe disability. This is very important as having to deal
cope better.with a disabled child daily, can either cause you to pull
Now, what about your other children? Some siblingstogether as a team or fall apart. Use the support of
may feel resentment towards the disabled child,your family and friends.
because of the amount of your time it takes awayI know I didn't sign up for this, but would I want it any
from them or the amount of attention the other childother way... probably not!