Recovery From the Loss of a Disabled Brother

My younger brother was disabled. He was born withand destitute children." He readily admits that his task is
learning disabilities so severe that he appeared to beuphill, but his vocabulary does not include the words '
blind at first. Adorable to look at and blessed with ahopeless' or 'despair'.
great sense of humor, he could be great company. HeMy experience with my brother did not lead me to a
was intelligent and ambitious and his life was often acareer working with the disabled. I was frequently
frustrating, maddening experience for the whole family.upset by the challenge of simple tasks. My brother
A lifelong science fiction fan, he dreamed of a futureoften did not or could not clean up after himself. I was
world where he could succeed. Despite the roadblocksoften the one designated to do the cleaning.
and occasional temper tantrums, he did finish highSometimes I was understanding, but occasionally I was
school, complete college and marry.resentful, tired and short-tempered. I was deeply
I know how difficult working with disabled children candisturbed when my brother died in his forties having
be, so I was curious about the story of a social workerspent his last last years on disability. I grieved and
in India who made these children his life's work. Georgedespaired.
Joseph is modest in describing himself as a 'socialGeorge Joseph doesn't have my negativity towards
worker'. He has spent most of his adult life workingthe disabled children in his care. And I'm sure that he
with children, youth and women in distress. Many of ushas fewer resources than my family had, given the
dream of success, travel and financial rewards.poverty in his region. I am convinced that he is one of
George says, "I grew up dreaming of being of servicethose people with God-given skills for working with the
to the poorest and the needy. I am happy that I got andisabled. They not only have patience and optimism,
opportunity to convert my dream into a reality at athey have a vision for these young people. That vision
very young age." He has been living his dream sinceincludes a normal life for them, a job, a family and a
1993 has been living his dream with his wife by his side.sense of pride in their accomplishments. Hearing
George runs a school for disabled children andGeorge Joseph's story made me revisit my own
organizes women's groups in 52 tribal hamlets outsideexperience, to remember my brother's jokes, his
of Bangalore. He plans to expand his vocational trainingintellect and his passion for science fiction.
and rehabilitation programs. George talks about hisGrief must come to an end and action on behalf of
plans with passion fueled by years of experience. Heother disabled children should come next. My family's
is a visionary able to imagine massive undertakings,motto will come in handy, "Don't Stew. Do!" My thanks
"We have a long-cherished dream of starting anto George Joseph for reminding me to cherish what is
integrated school for children with disabilities, orphansgiven, however imperfect it may be.