| According to my research, often as long as ten years | | | | Many survivors are self-centered and consumed with |
| post injury, relationships may still be undergoing | | | | their own loss. In their concern for what they have lost, |
| problems. An international brain injury support | | | | they are unable to realize that the loss is not one-sided. |
| organization states that relationship breakdowns run as | | | | For their partners, even with the knowledge that the |
| high as 78%. They are often a result of the survivor's | | | | behavior is unintentional, the hurt still exists. Although |
| lack of empathy which can place a significant strain on | | | | we, as the healthy partner, have been told not to take |
| relationships. Also damage can be done over time to | | | | it personally, it is difficult to remain immune to the hurt. |
| the relationship by the survivor's inability to adapt to the | | | | Are there answers? In general the relationship will |
| brain injury and their resultant deficits. It has been said | | | | depend mostly upon the healthy partner. It is |
| that the impact of brain injury on partners and families | | | | recommended that the healthy partner not disagree |
| is similar to throwing a pebble into a pond; the ripples | | | | with the brain injured person; not challenge or confront |
| created have an effect on the entire pond. | | | | him; remain calm; be willing to ignore bad behavior; |
| It is through our brains that we experience ourselves | | | | show support and affection; offer positive |
| and our environments. It is what makes us who we | | | | reinforcement and to be patient. |
| are. Brain injuries cause diminished self-awareness | | | | But the relationship is unlikely to be what it was before |
| which results in an inability to recognize personal | | | | the brain injury happened. Dreams have changed; new |
| changes. Although brain injury strikes an individual, the | | | | dreams and new strengths must be developed, if |
| entire family lives with the impact of the injury. | | | | possible. The ability of the non-injured partner to cope |
| In order to attempt to alleviate potential problems, it | | | | is of prime importance. Some caregivers find that |
| may be necessary to avoid exchanges that may lead | | | | sharing their feelings with others can help them through |
| to misunderstandings - even a suggestion of doing | | | | difficult times. Others use humor to focus on solutions |
| something other than their way can cause a swift | | | | instead of problems. But most importantly, remaining |
| change in mood. | | | | positive will be the best coping strategy of all. |
| As with children, reminders are often necessary. Have | | | | I used to say that it takes two people to work at a |
| you taken your pills is a common one. Resentment | | | | relationship; one can't do it alone. This line of thinking |
| becomes a companion to their anger and frustration | | | | cannot exist in such a situation. In most cases, there will |
| when they are seemingly treated like a child. But when | | | | only be one person working at it. The success will |
| memory is an issue, these reminders become a | | | | depend largely upon that partner's willingness to |
| necessary part of living. | | | | continue to work alone. |